He was important. That’s the complete definition of his being. But the truth is, I’m important too. We lose ourselves in people the moment we intertwine. We justify things they do wrong and fall in love with things they do right. We justify little jabs, little words, little white lies with thinking they’re normal. They’re not. When you fall in love with someone, you want them happy. Their happiness makes you happy. That’s love. And since I was in love, I thought I was actually wrong. I would reward him when he treated me horribly. I would love him harder when he threw toxicity. It was dangerous. Vile. Absolutely terrifying that someone could make you feel so immensely cold, but so crazy in love. That’s emotional abuse.

going to hell

give ‘em hell
take ’em back and through
in and out
consume my abuse
tune in
show no confusion
lick my fusion
taste the movement
have you walked in my shoes
have you been to the moon
my costume
i’ll take it off
show you what’s true
but first i need to know
there’s no hole
nothing cold
truth down to the bone
won’t hit the road
as soon as i kiss your nose
you’ll know
just go with the flow
i’ll let off control
looking for home
no remote
leaving me alone
just to explode
like i was owed